Frozen Joe, the ballet boxer

Tenement Lady Stone drug mama
Street hawk stone heart
Mind that swiftly falls apart
Count lurch hearse head
Prince of the snick snacks
Got a pierced ear mind fear
Of the sailors with their perfume
Molly mouse dream talk
Gin house milk shake
She steals my magazines
She’s a lazer lipped lover yeah!

You can hear Tony Visconti warming up the mellotron, then a guitar chugs along.
A phased vocal kicks in singing the lyrics above. The texture oozes class.

No sooner than you've got to grips with the beat, it stops and melds into a ballad with beautiful piano accompaniment.

Thus, Tenement Lady segues into Darling, as if it were one composition. Cheeky, but clever.

This is nothing like 'The Slider' at all. The piano recurs throughout the album with its bluesy tones adding extra vibrancy to the arrangements. Rumour (especially Wikipedia) has it that it's Elton John, uncredited. Possible as he was about the chateau recording 'Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only the Piano Player.' More likely, it could be an uncredited 17 year old French player. Whatever, it's brilliant.

Rapids has a ridiculous tempo. It’s a sleazy casual rocker with lovely guitar phrases, reminiscent of early Thin Lizzy. The production is pure class and announces that this album is a completely different kettle of fish from the somewhat less-than-spectacular Slider. Apart from the crap title (and awful design complete with an annoying lack of credits for personnel) all is well in planet Bolan again.

Mister Mister is an uplifting surprise with its emphasis on piano and melody. I still prefer the demo version, though.

Broken Hearted Blues offers more of the old Bolanic inspiration, with saxophone adding to the instrumental wash. Though repeated in chunks it’s not boring.

Country Honey & Shock Rock seem more concerned with innuendo and imagery than musical innovation and canter along rather too briskly and with no real substance. Shock Rock would have benefited from being more shocking! Maybe a tad more exploration of its structure would have made it more convincing.

Electric Slim, however, is a slice of Bolan magic. It remains one of the best tracks on this album and is a favourite still to this day. A change of key from its earliest demo days and a touch of the Visconti dust makes for a killer. Outstanding stuff. Great lyrics and imagery. Guitar solo teases at the end. Should have gone for broke.

“Donna la Folle par T. Rex,” says a young girl.

Mad Donna (a premonition?) kicks off the second side, following some lovely French intro silliness. It’s almost a classic, but again feels a bit rushed. It’s probably the last throws of the rocking four-piece before Bolan veers off his Rex orbit. The Groover is part of the next generation of Bolan delights. Born To Boogie does chug along in its merry way, probably inserted to promote the film, which was by now outdated before its release. It had been the Xmas b-side three months earlier. A raunchier version of Fast Blues (Easy Action) would have been more adventurous or even the new song, 20th Century Boy. But no.
Then it’s off to the park and a sunny outdoor acoustic thing about fat people and thin people and tall-short people. Very strange. The Street & Babe Shadow return us to the Bolanic splendour of weird tremolo guitar and vignettes of all kinds of odd characters, romping along on a persistent B chord. Ships to Venus & ballet boxers, indeed. These fleeting glimpses into what should have been fully-fledged stories in years to come remind us of what we really miss. Tanx finishes with a flourish of great production. There’s some excellent understated guitar on Highway Knees.

Left Hand Luke & The Beggar Boys should have been the title-track of the album. It’s a show-stopper all right. The demo features even stronger piano and guitar, but the version here is equally squalid and mesmerising. Like a gospel song which has been torn to shreds by a pack of hyenas, it has crazy lyrics and a raunchy vocal. It sounds as if it has been recorded after an all-night booze-up. There’s a searing guitar solo, wild backing singing (Nilsson? on this?) and the most manic crescendo you’ll ever hear on any record. Magnificent. One trick pony? Kidding me.

As for Frozen Joe, what happened to him?

Well, he chromed his toes to get his rocks off........obviously.