Skiathos Bell-Towers & Bell-Ends

In this blog I shall be scattering some random statements overheard from various tourists (affectionately known as bellends). No. I was not prying. These people were more than happy to regale anyone with their incredible opinions within a fifty yard earshot of them, only too happy to foist their arrant stupidity upon all who had the misfortune to witness it.

So, here’s an example of the layout and of the kind of thing you would hear.

🛎️ : “My mate’s a lorry-driver, picked up Welsh really fast….and we know some Scottish too…..and Cornish.”

Announced to everyone at the pool. Grim.

Ok, then, back to the Bell Towers……….

When you’re wandering around in Greece, you’ll always find a church, especially in the middle of nowhere, it seems. Here are some impossibly-positioned examples of tiny religious sites. The first is on a country road in the hills where there are few scattered residences. It has an impressive bell-tower for a little church. In Skiathos Town there are other towers to explore. The second is situated near the entrance of a hotel and above some steps leading down to a beach. There’s inadequate parking and it’s right on a bend on a busy road. Still, any place will do for the Orthodox to keep women in their place, I suppose?

Whatever you do, don’t follow that sign to Skiathos in the above pic (Photo 3) - it’s pointing to the beach!

🛎️ : “It’ll last you a lifetime and more.” Brummie to his mate, Steve, on the purchase of a camera, thus endorsing Buzz Lightyear’s ideas of the finite.

Now for another Greek staple…………..boats. It’s hardly surprising that there should be boats ubiquitously found all over the place. It’s a sea-faring environment. But here are some unusual sightings. First up is a rather neat reconstruction of a vessel which is hanging outside the Rada Beach Restaurant & Taverna on Vassilias beach. It’s a pleasant taverna which has now reopened after the pandemic. It focuses on weddings, as does the Olive Thea in the hills. If you’re into weddings and beaches, then look no further. The second appears a tad worse for wear. I found that one down in Koukounaries where there are dozens of impressive vessels in the harbour. Couldn’t resist it. Belongs to a Greece of a different era. The third is more romantic and has been recommissioned to welcome you to the Kanapitsa Taverna. Nice touch.

Skiathos Town

It’s a great town. Not too big, but stuffed with a labyrinthine maze of alleys and cobbled streets in which you wander aimlessly for ages. Neat. If you arrive at the barrier, you can take a leisurely stroll down the main street. Near the top is the school on the left and, as you move down, the street becomes more compressed with bars, shops and eateries. It’s a bustle all right with all the bars and fast food joints trying to tempt you in. Though busy, it’s a pleasant atmosphere and there’s a place to suit every taste. At the end of the pedestrianised street is the main harbour road. Skiathos has a large harbour for the ferries and a quaint old harbour, a favourite with tourists. Most of the boat-taxis are based there. Some of the harbour-front bars are expensive so take care. You can be caught off guard and find cocktails at €14 or €16 each! Explore first. The locals are extremely friendly. It’s easy to enjoy a long night out and find yourself a couple of hundred euros down!

🛎️ : “If this is global warming, bring it on!”

Announced to anyone who was listening at the hotel pool

How about some traditional Greek fare then? (Photo 3 below) They latch on pretty quick, when there’s a € or a $ to be made, these Greeks. Taking the Mickey Mouze, eh?

🛎️ : “I don’t like airports.” Unsolicited announcement at the pool. That got a reaction of indifference.

Here’s an interesting anecdote. Thought I would take a photo of the fountain on the main street. As I was taking the photo a cat jumped up into the frame as I clicked. (Photos 4 & 5) A total fluke. I hadn’t even notice any cats nearby. The reason I took the photo was that there was no one nearby. Couldn’t have set that up if I had tried. On the one photograph you can see the carvings above the fountain. “Fountain Fine Spring.”

The town is full of contradictions, the corporate world colliding with the old. There’s even a Northern Soul bar, replete with cushions displaying the old fist symbol. Fancy an all-nighter?

🛎️ : “It’s almost as hot now as it was this morning, Steve!” at 4.30 p.m.

I love the signs in Greece, whether menus or posters or directions to places. You’d be lucky to follow the one here which seems to suggest you can go anywhere on the island. (Photo 2) However, I reckon you would need a Landrover at the very least for some of these places. There are just mountain tracks up in the hills.

Here’s an entertaining selection.

Picturesque harbours, beaches of golden sands, beautiful vistas of pine-clad hills leading down to pale blue waters, and cobbled streets with bougainvillea cascading down the houses…………or………..eyesores like this. (Photo 1) It’s very unusual to find a building like this in Greece (multi-storey). I remember years ago seeing this hotel in a brochure and thinking it was perfect for the kids. It’s right on the seafront as is the taxi-jetty. It looks great in a brochure. But this is the backside. Apparently, the holiday experience is excellent, but it’s not my idea of culture. Sadly, the owner died just before we came out.

The next photo is of the public utility waste bins on the Achladies road. Apart from the mortal danger of attempting to cross the road, there are these horrors lurking less than a few hundred metres from the Porto Rossa Restaurant which is just visible in the bottom left. Good luck with that!

Finally, there are some fantastic little hideaways in the backstreets of Skiathos Town where every alleyway appears to have tavernas with tables in the streets. I’m not convinced I want to be seated there having a glass of vino with hordes of people wandering past. And the view. The house opposite. Wish them luck with that. That aside, there ARE places with wonderful views near the harbour, but where the cuisine is questionable to say the least. They say, if you want to check out a place, check out the dubs first.

🛎️ : “Steve! Steve! Steve! See, all you need here is a 15 by 15 shed and a composter. And that’s it, isn’t it?”

That giant of West Midlands intellect fantasising about how he’d live on a Caribbean-style beach.

🛎️ : “What do you mean you only speak one language, after all these years?” Must admit, that had me stumped.

Anyway. Feeling a bit horny? Well, here are some pics of a horny creature. Everyone loves a katsika photo! The fencing is to keep us in.

🛎️ : A typical conversation……..

“I don’t like beaches.” Man on his second day.

“Oh! So, where did you go yesterday?”

“We went on a boat trip to Koukounaries beach.”

These people vote.

Whether you’ve had a fantastic holiday or a shite holiday, someone has to take away the shite. Don’t think they’d have drainage up there, do you? Here’s the Shite-Mobile, the “emptyings of cesspools” at your convenience. Love the double-narrative in the second image, where you have the Hotel Paradise near the top right and the “Ekkenoseis Vothron” in the foreground, just below our balcony. Maybe it’s time to leave?

🛎️ : “Must have been the hottest day yesterday. So we went to the beach to cool off.” 😳

Well, when all’s said and done, there’s no way better than to toast it with a chilled ouzo. It’s not a drink I take on board much these days, but, when it’s on the house……Cheers! Or, as the Brits said one year in Rhodes, to the astonishment and delight of one of my Greek mates, “Ya Mos!” Interesting to note the ouzo below (Photo 3) was established at the same time as a famous non-English football club.

At last you make it home past the enormous passport queues and luggage delays. What’s left but to sample some of the gifts you’ve brought back from your hosts. But remember, “Timete Danaos dona ferentes!”

Paul Woodford